A Pinch of Rodeo

By Joe R. Nichols

There should be a law against Hard Luck Awards, or designating someone as The Hard Luck Cowboy. Think about it. Not only have you failed as a contestant to achieve any level of success, you have embarrassed and humiliated yourself in a public setting. Friends, family, and thousands of spectators have witnessed you making a fool of yourself. And for that, they want to make sure you win a title or prize that will never let you forget it.

The Garden City Community Junior College got McDonald’s to sponsor a Big Mac for each of three performances for the hard luck winner. When my buddies and I first heard about it, we immediately teased each other as to which one of us might win it. Then I forgot about it.

I was getting along pretty good on my saddle bronc ride, but my rein was a lot shorter than I would have liked. I had a strong spur stroke going, with no difficulty reaching the horses neck. But, I kept thinking, man, I need more rein. I was going to place in the money if everything stayed the same, but somehow I convinced myself I had to try and slide some rein through my hand. Now, some guys are good at doing this. They can slip just the right amount, and then have a hold on it in the exact right place. Me? I didn’t know if I was good at it or not, cause I’d never tried it before. Well, about the time the tassel was going past my little mitt, I realized I had a made a slight mental error.

I looked like a loose helicopter blade when I left that horse. With my body parallel to the ground, I made several revolutions while traveling across the arena. Lucky for me, the ground broke my fall. If you’ve ever had all the wind knocked out of you, then you know what I felt. If you haven’t, then you have no idea. I crawled to the arena fence, so I wouldn’t delay the rodeo or be in the way, but that’s as far as I could go. Then, I heard laughing. I looked up to see my buddy Fitz, ambling down the fence line, pointing at me, and stopping periodically to grab the fence to keep from collapsing from his laughter. “Hey Joe! I think you won the hamburger,” he hollered.

I had no air to speak words, but judging by his increased hysterics, I think he reads lips.