by Cait Collins
I was working on the final edits of my memoir, First Love, Forever Love, when I realized the book was not finished. It needed something else. The last two chapters were entitled The Promise and the Dream. But what about the reality? There had to be a resolution; a return to Maine and the sea.
The problem with reality is the fear of disappointment, or the fear of the real thing not measuring up to the dream and the memories. .In the ten months of planning for the return trip I never lost a sense of foreboding. I refused to get too excited because I didn’t want something to happen that would derail my return north. I wanted to go, but what if it wasn’t everything I had hoped for?
I arrived to beautiful weather, but not fall color. A warm, dry summer delayed the turning of the leaves. Although disappointed, I had to admit the varying shades of green were beautiful. We had good sailing weather and good winds. The Mary Day cut the water like a champ. It was invigorating. And there were those spectacular sunrises and sunsets. Nothing could be more glorious. Disappointed? Not on your life. The reality was every bit as good as the dream.
And now I get to write the final chapter of the memoir. I just hope I do justice to reality.