A Dream

Outtakes 213

A Dream

by Cait Collins

When I was a kid, I had this dream of being a great actress. I created some great characters in my mind, and I dreamed of walking up the aisle at the Oscars to accept my Best Actress award. I did some acting in junior high and high school. In college I won my Best Actress award for portraying a crazy woman.

So why did I let go of my dream? Because the sacrifices were too great. You see, I don’t like to exercise. I love good food, so I would be dieting all the time. Acting is hard work. You must learn the lines. For me that wasn’t just my lines. I memorized the entire script. I don’t like being tired. And I was constantly exhausted during rehearsals. But the bottom line is it was just not important enough to give up so much of my private time. Besides, I would not be nice to the guy invading my personal life just so he could make me look bad in the tabloids.

But I do want to be a writer. Writing is hard work. It requires me to avoid social gatherings, miss favorite TV shows, or leave books by my favorite authors unread. I must bare my soul and my work to my critique group and pray they are gentle in their comments. It means growing a thick skin when my work is rejected. The whole point is I have stories to tell, communities to create, and characters to nurture. I love to write. I get excited when a story comes together, and I cry when I must cut a character because he makes no real contribution to the story.

I am a writer. I have supported myself by being a good researcher and writer. Even if I never make the Best Seller List, I can take pride in my numerous accomplishments in broadcasting. So tomorrow I will get out of bed, dress, and fire up my computer, and make adjustments in my current work.

I am a writer.

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