Monthly Archives: October 2011

GONE NEVER FORGOTTEN

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By Natalie Bright

I have the perfect home office, which I blogged about previously at WordSmith Six.

Sometimes, the ideal situation might stifle your creative muse, as I found out when I tried to write a story that has been on my heart and mind for the past fifteen years. The story is about the loss of our firstborn son, and to write it I had to be in the middle of the chaos, with television and two perfectly healthy sons asking, “what’s for dinner”. The result is a book for grieving parents and families who’ve suffered the loss of a baby.

GONE NEVER FORGOTTEN offers healing words through verse and text for grieving parents. I didn’t begin where most books do on this topic; instead, I started at what happens when you get home. With empty arms, parents have to return to their life without the much anticipated new addition to their family. The daily struggle seems endless and the loss is something you may never get over, but we made it through and you can too.

In addition to several of my favorite Bible verses, two very special ladies have contributed poetry on grief and hope.

Marianne McNeil Logan is an award winning rhyming poet. I’ve admired Marianne’s work for many years, and I enjoy rereading her chapbooks as inspiration for words and the writing craft. She continues to be a strong voice of encouragement for our local writing community.

Nell Lindenmeyer is a long-time friend through a our day jobs and through our work in an organization which educates its members about the energy industry. When I discovered she wrote poetry, I asked if she might have some pieces on grief and the free-verse samples she sent absolutely blew me away. I hope you find inspiration and peace through them as much as I did.

From my heart to yours, GONE NEVER FORGOTTEN, is a book of hope and healing after the loss of a baby, and is available on amazon.com for your Kindle. Click on the title now to download to your Kindle, and please let me know if any of the content touches your heart. Email me natalie@nataliebright.com.

Read an excerpt below:

1. LIVING WITH GRIEF

This past year our oldest son would have turned fifteen. As I write, tears fill my eyes, and I swallow the lump in my throat. How could I have forgotten his birthday again? I had planned to purchase a wreath, fasten a well-used toy from a younger brother’s room, and visit the cemetery to honor the special day. In the swirl of daily life, the date had slipped past, and I had done nothing.

Through the years, the pain over losing a baby will resurface out of nowhere. Special dates and events will pass without a second thought, and at other times, the overwhelming sense of loss will smack you out of nowhere. You must learn to live with your grief.

Playgrounds are difficult for me. Watching children yell and swing and slide reminds me of the missing link in our family. Certain times of the year are more painful than others. When I buy new clothes and school supplies for our two sons, I always feel a certain sense of loss and emptiness. I should be buying three sets of erasers, glue, and colored notebooks, instead of two.

During the past years, the only way I have found best to deal with this grief is to block the five days of our firstborn son’s life from my mind. That’s the way it’s been since we lost our sweet Clayton. My husband finds comfort in stopping by his grave and honoring our son on birthdays and holidays. For me, when I visit the cemetery, I sink into a deep depression that lasts for weeks. The memory of the overwhelming sense of hopelessness I felt as we left the hospital with empty arms consumes me. Every emotion and memory vividly haunts me, even now fifteen years later. I have learned to block the delivery experience from my thoughts without guilt, all the while remembering his presence in this world.

To read more, GONE NEVER FORGOTTEN is available on Kindle for only $4.99.

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 37 KB
  • Publisher: Apollo Publishing LLC; 1 edition (August 25, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005K9POP2

WINDJAMMING

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Windjamming

An icy drizzle penetrates my newly purchased plastic poncho as I drag my suitcase down the weathered-plank wharf toward the schooner. At anchor, the MARY DAY lacks the grandeur of the full canvass pictures in the brochure. Still the wooden vessel enchants me. I feel as though I’ve stepped a hundred years into the past as I stand at the ladder and request permission to board.  Homer, one of the ship’s mates, greets me and helps me load my luggage on to the deck. He holds out a calloused hand to assist my climb up the rope and wood ladder. Leading me through the hatch and down the steep companionway steps to a dimly lit corridor, we approach my cabin’s open door. Two sets of thick plank bunk beds bolted to the wood walls dominated the room. A small sink hugs one wall. Naked bulbs dangle from the ceiling and provide sufficient light for reading, dressing, and basic grooming. The shower and the head (bathroom) are on deck. As the cabin is below the water line, a damp chill invades the dim space. After stowing my gear, I make my way to the saloon to meet my fellow passengers. We huddle around the wood-burning stove and introduce ourselves.

I wake to the aroma of fresh coffee. A chill hangs heavy in the small room. I dress quickly and hurry topside to infuse my sleep-fogged body with caffeine. Rain drops plop onto the canvas overhang, adding to the gloom of the early hour. The heavy stoneware mug warms my hands as I sip the strong coffee our cook provided.  I soon realize my Amarillo, Texas clothes are not warm enough for the early June rains. Our captain assures us we have time to go into Camden for any last minute purchases, so I head for a clothing shop near the dock.  With two pair of stretch pants, two Maine souvenir sweatshirts, a bottle of wine, and a six-pack of Diet Coke stuffed into my canvass ice-tote, I retrace my steps to the slip. Changing into my warmer clothes and donning my ugly but practical foul weather gear, I climb the companionway to the deck.

Camden Harbor is one of the busiest ports in Maine. Boats from outboards to schooners to yachts anchor in the sheltered waters. The harbor master maintains a strict schedule for moving craft from their slips into the bay.  The tug ties onto the MARY DAY and hauls us from the far end of the harbor towards Curtis Island.  Once past the Coast Guard Station and Curtis Island Lighthouse, we enter Penobscot Bay. The tug releases the lines and we are on our own. The captain requests volunteers to help hoist the sails. I join one of the two lines. Grabbing the oiled jute rope, I listen to the captain’s instructions. His commands echo across the water. “All together, pull!” “Right side, hold.” “Left, pull!” Inch by inch, gray-white canvas rises to the sky. The kid, Scooter, crawls across the mast protruding from the bow. Wearing flip-flops, he balances on the ropes and releases the rigging securing the canvas to the polished wood. One wrong move and the teen will plunge into the icy waters of the bay. My unused muscles burn and scream by the time sails fill the sky. I make a decision as the five-mast beauty glides into the open water. Tomorrow, I will lie on the deck, train my camera lens on the masts and shoot Scooter as he scampers up the tall spikes toward heaven.

Cait Collins